After more than a year, and both expanding and limiting experiences, Virus Time has become an ongoing reality. There is no return. There is only a Path forward. Previous modes, models, and means of existence are gone, never to reappear. And as we continue, contemplate, and consider, a range of themes emerge. Primary among them is Grief. Another relates to the Removal of Veils and Illusions. A third, akin to the second, considers how Decolonization must be our Way of Life. And the Fourth, perhaps the most Primal, reflects on the most intimate and powerful resources in Life: Body, Breath, Boundaries, Bonds.
I. On the Necessity and Insufficiency of Grief.
Foremost among Virus Time experiences is . . . Death. It is ever present. Many we love have died. Some from the Virus directly. Others while the Virus has marked our time. Others from “accidents” or “incidents” that were accentuated by the stress of living with the Virus ever-near. And every Death has been a Blow. An Assault. A Deep Loss. A Powerful and Wrenching Pain. Thus, those of us who continue to live are marked by the Death of others. And the ever-present reality of Grief.
Much has already been written about Grief, which is our response to the Death of those near and dear to us. And in Virus Time, whether consciously or not, we also grieve due to the deaths of the Many who are not psychically or emotionally close, but whose passing, violently or silently, still affects us.
As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross put it some years ago:
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over the loss of a loved one.'”
Grief becomes a permanent part of who we are, once the loss occurs. And for all of us, in Virus Time, the loss is real and strong and ever-present. On some levels, it is never healable. Time does NOT “heal all wounds.” No, time only changes the wound. At first, when the loss is fresh, and recent, and raw, our emotional world bleeds. The blood flows as tears, spasms, and sobs. Moments when we simply tremble, moan, break. And sense the truth of loss: we will never be with, or see, or hear this person again. They are “gone,” as the saying goes. And we cannot avoid this truth: because even when we ignore or repress the feeling produced by loss, the power of the loss “lives in us,” and we carry it, whether we are “facing it” or not. Yes, we do continue to live. But our lives are marked by what we grieve, and we are marked by the loss.
Due to so many deaths, familiar and far away, near and unknown, we are all marked by Grief in Virus Time. But the unique nature of Virus Time Grief is that we are not able to grieve in familiar ways. Due to the the dangers of transmitting the Virus, especially at particular times and in particular locations, many were not able to view the body of their loved one after a death. And for large numbers, funeral services could not take place “in person,” or in the presence of the deceased person’s remains. Many rituals took place via video conference rather than with family and community. This has altered grieving, and made it less personal, less physical, often without touching or embracing. This has cut off the spirit and soul from a full sensation of departure and wishing the lost one farewell. Thus, the Grief of Virus Time is a Partial Grief, an Unfinished Grief, a Grief without fullness of feeling and experience.
All this is compounded by the great number of deaths, and the global nature of the experience. In addition to deaths from the Virus itself, war, movements of peoples, loss of land and livelihood, and intimate and personal struggles and dislocations of all kinds, have made the Grief of the Time even greater. Known and Unknown, Close and Distant, the scale of loss is vast.
Thus, the Grief of Virus Time is necessary. It is constantly occurring, consciously and unconsciously. We engage in open and over mourning, when we can and when we must. In addition, there is a deep unspoken melancholy as well, for all the deaths we sense but do not touch personally. But as with all grief, this Grief is also unsufficient to address the experience of the Time. Those who have died, and all that has been lost, can never be seen or touched again. The Pain of the World is inconsolable.
How, then can we respond SPIRITUALLY to such a reality?
First we engage in Acknowledgement. If we are having strong feelings, or experiencing sorrow, we allow ourselves to sense all that is present. Sobs and tears are not a sign of weakness or illness. They are the physical sign of the emotional and psychic truth: our loss is real, and we feel it. It hurts! There is emptiness, and a presence no longer present. We allow the sensation to flow, to be what it is. And to take other forms: memories, energies, feelings in the body, images in dreams. When praying and meditating, if the loss and grief are what arises, we honor that. Contemplate it. Lift our voices and thoughts, as they are, to the Spirit. And allow the Spirit to move. To be with us. To carry us. And to comfort. Sharing these same things in conversation with others who share the loss, with family, friends, comrades. This too brings blessing.
As we acknowledge, however, we also move forward. We do NOT “stay in our grief.” The grief is always shifting, flowing, moving; rising and falling, sometimes fading, sometimes “in our face.” But however we experience it, it does “age.” And as time passes, it takes on new character. It becomes less intense, less overt, more subtle. But it remains. Because the loss remains.
To grow from our grief, we utilize it. We can create rituals to celebrate the One(s) lost. Grieving with one’s own feelings, as well as with others, is renewing and restorative. Holy objects, including photos, are essential ritual elements. For the lost one lives on in the stone, the flower, the drawing, the picture! Shrines and sacred spaces, sacred times, sacred acts — these transform the memory of loss from pain and sorrow, into rage and righteous anger, and then into power. And this is the essential task — to mobilize our grief, and from it create power. Not allowing our Grief to debilitate or disempower us, but to be an experience which adds to our strength, clarity, resolve, and fortitude. For as the grief evolves, we see clearly — the loss is also a gift. A gift of the One Now Gone, who remains. Thus, our Grief provides us energy for all of life’s tasks — most deeply of all, the task of living well.
Collective Grief and Generational Traumas, also, are our Power. We carry the Ones who have gone ahead, as we journey ahead on our own Path. They have joined the legions of the Ancestors. And they are with us, and IN US, as we work for what we desire and need: a world filled with happiness for all, where memories of our forebears are sweet. May we savor and gain strength from our Grief!
II. The Removal of Veils and Illusions
Another obvious element in the experience of Virus Time is that it has removed all obstacles to clear sight and understanding about the systems which now dominate the world. Especially in the US (where I live), but also elsewhere, it has become fully clear:
Structures of Power and Domination are brutal, sick, causing sickness, and unsustainable.
From politics to health care to education, housing, transportation; law, policing, and “public safety;” food and energy production — all current forms and structures of social organization, ostensibly constructed to meet needs and provide services, are not able to assist or support human beings. Instead, they are driven by the desire for profits and the practice of exploitation, rather than regard for the people the systems are allegedly serving. Seeing this, in any detail and from any angle, only makes clear what is obvious at first glance, and in all subsequent gazes at the current Extractive Capitalist Global World:
The System is killing people and the Planet.
Thus, those of us who are spiritually aware, and claim (or seek) to be conscious of both inner and outer realities, must create, for ourselves and one another, a different way of living, with one another and on the Earth our Common Home. This is not only possible, but essential. The sickening beast we must name, confront, and transform, is White Supremacist Extractive Capitalism. All illnesses, all traumas, all pain and privation, are rooted in this system which values profit taking over human beings, makes all people and things into commodities, and considers everyone and everything as an object to be exploited. As Nick Estes, co-founder and leader of the The Red Nation Movement, states in his seminal book, Our History is the Future:
“We are challenged not just to imagine, but to demand, the emancipation of Earth from capital. For the Earth to live, capitalism must die.”
In Virus Time, as well as before the Virus emerged, spiritual practice, like all forms of cultural production, has become a commodity. The most striking feature of this development is the reduction of all “spiritual issues” to personal matters, which are “best addressed individually.” However, the reality of Virus Time shows us something different: no inner practice is unrelated to the social, political, and collective spiritual energies active on the Earth at this time. In fact, no practice of cultivating the inner life without external discernment and thorough transformation is myopic, egoistic, and ultimately blind. Yet, any path that seeks to transform social realities, without attentiveness to inner energies and grounding in the Earth as our Common Home, is unsustainable. In fact, since humans are embodied souls and spirits in physical form, the inner and the outer, the political and the spiritual, the personal and the communal, are actually one whole reality, always interacting with and recreating each other. Thus spiritual practice and the transformation of injustice into the Beautiful New World for All must occur simultaneously, and be practiced together, as a Single Life Path. How is this to be done? By recognizing how and why we and the world are sick, grieving, and disempowered. And then affirming and celebrating our Life, the ongoing Life of what is lost, and the memories and life-spirit that remain. And most of all, to claim our own power and our power in connection to others as our experience continues to unfold.
III. Decolonization: Spiritual Practice, Inner and Outer Path, State of Mind
Since the system under which we live is like a Vampire, gaining its power by draining the life force of humans and their relations throughout Creation, to live we must respond in a way which discerns our situation clearly. This entails naming the source of our pain, our loss, and the pains and losses of all people and the Planet — the spread of White Supremacist Settler Colonial Capitalism over the Whole Earth. Although this process began some 500 years ago, the obvious dysfunction and destructiveness of the situation (in every realm: political, economic, social, etc.) shows that we are witnessing the end, the breakdown, and the death of a Life-Denying, Death-Dealing mode of existence. It must end. And it is ending. Rooted in colonialism, it continues to claim power even as it dies, causing the death of millions.
To live in a world where Western colonialism has held sway, but is fading away as it rots and dies, we must then Decolonize. The choice before us, as The Red Nation notes, is “Decolonization or Extinction.” Many have written of decolonizing various aspects of life, practice, and experience: Decolonizing Therapy; Decolonizing Education; and various ways to decolonize social support and healing practices.
However, considering Decolonization from my location here in so-called “(Alta) California/USA” within Turtle Island, and how it relates to the world as a whole, Decolonization calls to us — compels us — to address our pain and possibilities, and those of other Relations and the Earth, fully, completely, honestly, effectively, and authentically. As we create a New World, and live our Way into a future worth living, Decolonization must become A Total Experience, A Way of Life, a Way to BE on this Earth, with soil, sun, plants, animals, waters, and one another.
Seen from a certain angle, it is a Spiritual Practice. But how is this “done”? We must say — there is no “single corrrect Way.” But a Decolonizating Spirituality MUST include attentiveness, and ways to cleanse, heal, and begin anew, each day, each evening, through all times of waking and sleeping. Methods from various traditions can assist us in SEEING and SENSING, clearly and without delusion, what our thoughts are, how we behave, and how these often arise from colonial (dominating and controlling) modes and patterns. Internalized forms of harm, in which we wound ourselves or others, must be discerned, and then uprooted from our conscious and unconscious realms. Behaviors must be acknowledged. And if they are born from colonial residues in mind and spirit, they must be REMOVED. Constant awareness of the “Shadow” within us, implanted by hundreds of years of colonial culture and power relations, is a primal necessity. Rituals, mantras, and other practices can be part of this cleansing and rec-creating process. Absolute honesty and willingness to be challenged are essential. Deep experiences of meditation can show us that our “true self” is NOT what colonialism has programmed into us, physically, mentally, or spiritually. Since White Supremacy is NOT eternal or all-powerful, but only a passing form, like all forms, it dissipates, and will disappear. Our spiritual practice, then, is a conscious choice to assist the process of its passing away, and its uprooting and elimination from our lives and life practice.
One of the greatest explorers of the practice and salutary effect of Decolonization was Frantz Fanon (May Peace Be Upon Him), set out most eloquently and powerfully in “The Wretched of the Earth.” He speaks of decolonization as a “violent process,” in which “the destruction of the colonial world is no more and no less than the abolition of one zone, its burial in the earth or its expulsion from the country.” Although, at one level, Fanon was addressing the task of decolonizing land accupied by settlers, who must either be killed (for eventual “burial in the earth”) or driven out (“expulsion from the country”) for liberation from colonial occupation to occur, the violent yet necessary process of Decolonization can also be seen as a Spiritual Practice. Discerning, dismantling, burying, and expelling ALL forms of colonial consciousness and action, on the terrain and territory of Our Souls, is what meditation, chanting, praying, dream work, journaling, and other practices must lead to. Decolonization, then, is one name for the essential spiritual task: the re-creation of Our Selves and the World in new and life-loving Ways.
Because our lives are the result of both the personal and social aspects of our existence, Decolonization must always combine, consciously, both inner and outer work. Our inner world is deeply affected by the unjust realities of the economic, social, cultural, and political realities around us. And the way we encounter and engage the outer world is always impacted by how we behave, the choices we make, and the ways we perceive and respond to external person, powers, and energies. Thus, our journey forward needs to include constant and conscious attention to how our inner life and the world around us interact and recreate each other. Meditation attentive to parts of the Earth, persons and groups residing in various places, the spiritual energies of movements of people, as well as weather patterns and responses of the Earth Herself to human activity — all these can be part of a simultaneously Inner/Outer, Personal/Collective Life Path. As human beings, we are whole beings, and thus our spiritual practice empowers us to transform ourselves and simultaneously participate in the transformation of the world in our actions, relationships, and work. As we cleanse and create our selves anew in each moment of spiritual attentiveness, we also create a New World in our communication and communion with others.
Long before decolonization become a buzzword or “trend,” the great Kenyan novelist and teacher Ngugi wa-Thiong’o wrote a book entitled “Decolonising the Mind.” In this probing and powerful work, first published in 1986, Ngugi highlights the important of language in the way that imperialism operates, especially in its cultural conquest of the Earth and its peoples. He notes that missionaries and educators, who built schools and churches as weapons of domination in their attempts to eradicate indigenous ways, diligently studied and utilized native African languages. In contrast, in the years after “independence” in the 1960s and 70s, African writers consistently communicated and created in the languages of the colonizers! French and English! This is a vital insight to consider, and to include in our decolonization path and practice. The lanaguage we use, the images we construct and share, the ways we shape words to either harm or heal — being AWARE of how language shapes our minds and expresses our life is essential for our journeys. Each of us relates to language differently — only some of us have access to indigenous languages in this lifetime. But if we do (indigenous tongues of every continent are still alive in many places), cultivatig and communicating “in these languages,” as often as possible, is part of our task. We are “in” a language — but we also “use” and “make” various tongues as well. Listening for how our animal and plant relations speak is a vital part of decolonizing our own speech and perceptions. Unspoken cultural forms, like painting, dance, and music, have their own “ways of speaking.” Attention to how our feet touch the Earth, and how we cultivate and care for the soil, help us learn new forms of expression and communion. Above all, we must LISTEN. Spend time with the Earth. Nurture ourselves, and each other. And continue to discern, dismantle, and cleanse ourselves of colonial patterns of thought and conduct. But as we create and listen to many voices, we also create a New Tongue — what Ngugi calls “the Universal Language of Struggle.”
To Decolonize our Minds, then, is to be deeply attentive inwardly — to our speech, thoughts, dreams, feelings, and perceptions. And to be aware that much of what we carry and see as “ours” is actually an imposition or implantation of colonial culture; NOT “who we are,” but who we have been led to perceive ourselves to be. Discernment and dismantling of what is “not ours,” and the creation of a “new Self,” each day, is an ongoing task as we make our Way toward a Decolonized Mind. And then to practice a Universal Struggle, crafting an ever-new Universal Human Culture and Spirit, both global and local, our feet on a particular place on the Earth, enacting our kinship with all the Earth and those who walk on it.
IV. Body, Breath, Boundaries, Bonds
Our greatest resources on this Path are not, and cannot be, instruments of force. These are the tools of conquerors and colonizers, used to maim, dominate, threaten, instill fear; to kill bodies, to steal and plunder the land and its inhabitants. As the Tao Te Ching taught us long ago: “Good weapons are instruments of fear; all creatures hate them.” Our power does not lie in guns or bombs. And confronting “the powers that be” with their own tools is certain folly. For us, the power of Spirt, of Creativity, of Solidarity and Shared Celebration, will empower us beyond all imagining.
Our own bodies are our greatest Power Source. They are resilient, flexible, constantly growing, ever moving, resting and rising, moving and still, in steady rounds of flux and flow, steadiness and transformation. They are the miraculous vessels of our Life Force. Ever sustained and sustaining, they are the dwelling place of Eternity in organic form.
Our Breath is the Spirit’s Power and Presence, in us always, entering and exiting, giving life. She comes from the vastness of wind and space. She blesses us sweetly, whether we are conscious of Her of not. But is always with us. Energy, ease, restful, rousing, unseen, ultimate strength, beyond and within. When we call on Spirit, She always answers. And has always already answered. We breathe; we live; we are Life and its Power.
Our bodies and breath create and sustain who we are. But we also do this by being clear and careful about what we allow to affect us, bodily and spiritually. What food do we eat? Locally grown fruits and vegetables are the best source for maintaining our bodyspirit balance. What kind of music do we listen to? Does its frequency and sound resonance nurture us, or disturb us, distorting our sense of our selves as really are, not as we are being programmed to be? Does the music clarify our minds, or cloud them? Most of all, we must discern: who are the PEOPLE who we commune with? Are the souls, personal and organizational, fruitful for our health, and the health of the Planet? Making certain we do healthful things and not others; engage with people who bring us blessings; and spend time in fruitful and not fruitless ways — all these assist in empowering us, individually and collectively. Boundaries bring us blessings!
The bonds we create, to people, places, spaces, and times, are also a source of power. As the Boddhisattva Thich Nhat Hanh has taught us, we are exist in “interbeing.” None of us is isolated. Our very existence depends on the toil of other people, close to us and across the Planet. The Sun, the Wind, the Waters, and the Earth, provide us all that we have, and course through us in the elements that sustain our bodies and energize our spirits. We are made of all is. Most deeply, as we craft connections with our own Inner Lives and the Lives of Those Around Us, we create communities of care and creativity which nourish us on the Paths we tread. Bonds and connections are gifts which give us life, and enrich our Ways.
The Spirit-Path ahead discerns and decolonizes all things, outer and inner. Lands: who owns the land, how it is cared for (or exploited), and how the unjust history of its acquisition can be set right. Laws: the obviously unjust system of how laws are conceived, enacted, interpreted, and enforced must be explored, understood, and then dismantled, through discourse and action. Power Relations: at every level, from the local to the global, who rules, how this domination is maintained, and how it can be resisted and removed. Our Bodies: our physical form, itself a miracle, is the sacred site of our life as we grow in communion with the Earth and all our Relations who walk upon Her. Our Minds: all practice, from prayer to meditation to thought and dreams, is clarified and cleansed, each day, as we honestly discern ourselves and our experience, and become who we Really Are, releasing Who We Have Been and Must Not Be. Finally, Our Souls: Our Life Force, manifested in our waking and sleeping, work and play, dreams and tears, solitude and communion, is always growing, is ever alive, and utterly unconquerable. May we nourish our Souls Always!
Onward and Inward, Beautiful Ones! Into the New World, who lives in us, and calls to us as we journey together in Creating Her!
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